Going on a hiking weekend with the boys does not diminish the bond we share, nor does taking a few hours to workout solo or visit a store we know you have zero interest in. But that doesn't mean we shouldn't spend time apart. We'd even go so far as to say that, in the best relationships, showing your beau some form of love each day deepens and extends the partnership. We acknowledge the importance of couple time. But don't want to be attached at the hip. Instead, smile when we aren't late to date night, or send us a text thanking us once we prove you can call at anytime. And that's a lose-lose for everyone involved. It's a vicious cycle - the more men feel those guys get the benefits of your time and attention, the more incentive we have to become those guys. So yes, it's more than a little irritating when you go on and on about the jerk who has mastered the art of ghosting, orbiting, or whatever new dating term kids are throwing around these days. Similar to why we're so damn honest, a good man demonstrates his commitment to you by showing up. We want you to appreciate our reliability. That way we'll know to keep our traps shut and arms open. So if you just want to have us listen - and not do anything about the problem, or offer our opinions on how to fix it - then tell us that up front. Blame the wiring in our brains, but what it boils down to is that we don't want to see our loved ones suffer. But for men, it's our instinct to come up with as many potential solutions to the problem as possible. To know that someone is really listening to them, and is here to comfort them when times get rough. Many times, women want to talk about what's going on just for the sake of talking. One of the biggest differences between men and women is how we handle difficult situations. We really (really) want to solve your problems. And mom taught us that you don't lie to the ones who matter. Not only do we think it'll solve a problem (more on that below), but we also want you to know that we think of highly of you. We want to tell you why your mother bothers us and how you can stop fighting with your high-maintenance friend. But with you, we want to forget all that. The art of BS is how we get through the day. Think about it: Throughout the day, it's common to lie or obfuscate with people you have no interest in. But many times, being brutally honest is our way of showing you that we care. We know that, at times, tact can be the four-letter word that we never learned. These kinds of compliments aren't something we'll soon forget, and only make us want to further prove that we're worth your kind words. Tell us when we're nailing the whole parenting thing, if we're being helpful partners, or that you think we're caring sons. In fact, it's important that women commend the things that masculinity tends to belittle, like if we're good cooks or have insightful takeaways about foreign films. Just to be clear, the praise you give doesn't need to revolve around our bodies. And they don't have to just be about our looks. (We've worked hard to make the muscle pop like that.) These compliments - whether they're actually voiced or delivered through a lingering stare - remind men of what attracted you to us in the first place, it appeals to our Darwinian sense of selectivity (meaning it's crystal-clear why you keep choosing us over the other monkeys), and sure, it makes us think there's a possibility of procreation - or at least practicing the art of it. And yes, we want you to notice how the edge of our sleeves perfectly grip our biceps. Yes, we thought about what you'll think of how those jeans show off our assets. Some guys may try to play it off like they don't need praise - they just threw on that T-shirt without thinking - but anyone who tries to tell you they don't want a compliment tossed their way is full of crap. We crave compliments just as much as you. So if you've ever wondered what we, as men, really think and want, here's a sneak peek at what we wish you knew. A lot of the reasons for why revert back to society's traditional line of thought around masculinity - and what's deemed "cool" or not - but let's be honest: That's no excuse. Women are often reprimanded for being complicated creatures, but the truth is that men can be just as guilty of sending mixed signals to the opposite sex.
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